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So when things started to fade in my relationship I really didnt know what to do or think so I pretended to be an Ostrich ... now I dont know if they really do bury their heads in the sand or not but you maybe get where I am coming from? I basically ignored the problems that were so obvious to me ... I thought I could handle them and I guess I could.... for so long . The children were growing up and created their own problems but none so important as the main one. as a parent I think you expect problems from your children thats why we ( parents) are there to teach them , encourage them, discipline them and of course love them no matter what.
So what was i to do ? leave everyone? not very practical as the house is part of my employment package...some may think what a great perk but can in the wrong circumstances be quite a hinderance .I do love my house ( I did orchestrate the building of it and come to think of it financed the building of it though never got to reap the real benefits of that ) but it is actually a bind to my job and to moving on ... so best thing to do is ENJOY it and I do.. would be happier to enjoy it with someone else of course but then thats another story.
So where was I ?
there were alot of rows deceipts and arguements which finally led to a positive move in the relationship, positive or i guess more accuratly negative or was it ? now iI am confused but you probably realise that by now . It was a decision that came about once the children were ( I thought ) old enough to accept what was eventually going to happen ... separation... and and finally divorce .... I dont think I quite realised what this was going to be like for any of us it affects us all so differently ... I know it happens alot these days but my goodness ..it hurts ..in so many ways ... when you look at the children and see how it hurts them ... its a very selfish thing to do to a family but equally as hard is an unhappy household ... you cant hide the feelings from them all the time so is it better to dismantle the situation and try to move on or just keep hiding how you really feel ? Well there wasnt many options and so my wife moved out . A very difficult day !