Did I mess up?

She left in mid summer ... no time is a good time for these things to happen but at least my work kept me very busy for the next couple of months which helped to keep my mind occupied. However things became more and more difficult between me and my eldest boy he didn't seem to accept it at first then once he did he blamed me totally ... I couldn't spell out to him the real reason behind all this and I am not one to tell tales ... a very delicate situation when it involves his mother. So I, as usual, buried my head, ostrich style, hoping the problem would go away... eventually we had a few very angry discussions when we both probably said things we shouldn't have and this resulted in quite a time of very little contact and contact was only made when finances were needed to be talked about ( he was studying at the time, and still is, and I had my responsibilities in the finances of his accommodation and tuition fees) My time was kept busy with work till the end of September and I had already booked a holiday to the other side of the world so I felt I had plenty to look forward to though I still had so many confusing thoughts and had many a sleepless night. I think we all need things to look forward to to help us get through each day, week month and year